The Dam

Dusted off the camera yesterday.  I missed it, and had to take it out for a beautiful stroll at my favorite park.  It was a gorgeous day, a little overcast, but still very warm.  I don’t mind the humidity much, so long as my car has the AC to come back to.

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I tried my hand at a slow shutter speed with no tripod.  It’s not exactly tack sharp, but not too shabby, I think.  I love this view of the Dam.  It’s water is so nasty because of all the rain we had gotten last week, but honestly, it’s always been murky.  But the walking trails, and the trees, and listening to the birds are worth the dirty water.

I always feel like my posts are kind of depressing.  I am always so down on myself because I can’t seem to get back on track with my 365.  I apologize.  I seem to be going through a tough time at the moment.  But if you will allow me to dump on you….

Have you ever just wanted to run away from life?  Just run to see how far you can get, and then run even further?  Leave everything about your life behind, assume a new identity, see if you can start fresh and do things differently?  Obviously this isn’t a very responsible thing to do, but some days I wish I could just…..run.  Some days I think life likes to play its cruel jokes on me and then kick me for good measure.   Ugh, sorry for being such a debbie downer, I promise I am not usually like this.  Sometimes I feel like the only way to vent is through typing to complete strangers who don’t really know me, or know the gory details about my life and there seems to be something so therapeutic about hearing the clack-clacking of the keys against my fingernails.  Or the fact that if I am feeling better, I can just hit the delete key and pretend this never existed.  As selfish as this may sound, I don’t write this for sympathy or for anyone to feel sorry for me.  As a matter of fact, I’m not really sure if I really care if anyone actually reads this or views my pictures.  I write and I shoot for me, because in a lifetime of pure misery with a few bright spots, I have to force myself to find somewhere to vent or find something that brings me joy or I’ll just scream.  Scream until nothing comes out and I’m not sure my neighbors would appreciate that very much being that it is after midnight.  I have gone into this blog with absolutely no expectations, so every like and every comment and every follow is that little ray of sunshine seeping through.  Thank you friends, for bringing some light to this very dark soul.

I think I chose photography as my avenue because I feel like it is the one part of my life that I can control.  I haven’t mastered all that these brilliant machines have to offer, but I can manipulate settings, and fire test shots until I get the exact picture I am looking for.  Then I can busy myself with uploading it into my editing program and there I can unlock all of the options to make it just how I want it to be.  What colors I want to mute or enhance, where I want to focus to be, and if it isn’t sharp enough well, lucky me, my software comes with a sharpen slider to where I can make it look sharper than it really is.  (Although I am sure, if you zoomed in, you could totally tell!)

Sorry for the rant tonight, it’s just been one of those millenniums.

I truly hope you and your families have a wonderful 4th. ❤

-K

Playing Catch up

No Matter how hard I try to keep up, I am always falling behind.  There is just not enough hours in a day.  And maybe I’m a bit lazy and really enjoy my relaxation time, but I always come to regret not having finished or continued as I had planned.

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Play

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I love my bestie.  My bestie lives really far away from me, currently works a graveyard shift and we play this game every night.  We are totally addicted!  It’s a silly game, but we are so competitive, it makes it so much fun.  We talk to each other while we play and somehow we can talk and play for hours on end.  It’s something I look forward to every night before bed.  So after dinner is done, dishes are washed, clothes are folded and put away, I am able to finally relax and have some “me” time.  There is nothing else I would rather do.  QT with bestie is my most favorite time of night.  So this is my “Play”.  ❤  (C&VB) – I know you are reading this. 🙂 – Bestie code…lol

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Balance

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Life can sometimes be hard to balance.  Work, fun, motherhood, cleaning, friendships, relationships, family… Some days, I just want to throw my arms in the air and scream Eff it all!  I have always been such a people-pleaser, all I ever wanted to do was make the people around me as happy as I could.  What I didn’t realize in all of this, was while I was nearly killing myself to make others happy, deep down inside – I was not happy, I was miserable.  Don’t get me wrong, serving others is very dear to my heart, and understandably, serving without the expectations of receiving is as selfless as one can be – that’s actually what I was striving for.  But not being able to serve yourself because you are always serving others is a daunting and exhausting task.  Sometimes you need to ask for help and just hope that maybe, it will be given back to you.

I have learned so much this past year.  I learned that in the end, sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself.  I learned that the only person in charge of your happiness is you.  Life is only what you make it to be, and that you shouldn’t or can’t depend on others to make you happy.  I learned that Gary Chapman’s “The five love languages” only works when both parties are willing to fill each others love tanks.  I learned that life is so fleeting and ever-changing, you never know when something life altering is going to come into play.   I learned to be diligent in my goals, knowing that if I didn’t follow the proper steps, I would never reach them.   I learned that life can be so beautiful if you take the time to appreciate it.  I learned that I was strong enough.  And more than that, I learned that I deserved happiness.

I hope you all had a great weekend and my challenge for you this week, is to find YOUR happy.

18/365

Powdery

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I couldn’t seem to get the white balance right on this shot.  Unfortunately, I had forgotten to set my camera to florescent lighting and everything came out more blue than I had wanted.  I tried to warm it up in lightroom, but still was not achieving the color balance I thought this shot needed.  I may need to go back and see if YouTube has any good color enhancing lightroom techniques I can learn.  Anywho, a baker I am not, but I do like to be creative with presentation.  If I could do this over again, I would kill the overhead light and try some softbox lighting or try bouncing the flash off of the ceiling instead.  Ideas for another time.

17/365